


Were You Thinking Naughty Thoughts?

by IWP_chan



Series: Away from Here, Nasty Father [11]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Implied Sexual Content, M/M, and sudden mood whiplashes, chatfic, its tagged T for a reason, prepare for crack, yes another chatfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 17:06:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14116977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IWP_chan/pseuds/IWP_chan
Summary: DayumThoseLegs: FOR THE LAST TIME.DayumThoseLegs: I! AM! NOT! A! CAT!PancakePrince: DENY IT ALL YOU WANT I HAVE PICTURE EVIDENCECrack. ShuAke. Chatfic.





	Were You Thinking Naughty Thoughts?

Summary: **DayumThoseLegs:** FOR THE LAST TIME.  
**DayumThoseLegs:** I! AM! NOT! A! CAT!

**PancakePrince:** DENY IT ALL YOU WANT I HAVE PICTURE EVIDENCE

_Note: lookit yet ANOTHER chatfic. Impulse control? What’s that?_

_Basically an AU where Akechi and Akira grew up together, and Akira ended up going into the Metaverse with Akechi two years prior._

_Alt title: “Sin Unleashed 2.0”_

**Warnings: Suggestive Content, Implied/Referenced Sexual Content, Crack, Sudden Mood Whiplashes, Zero Regrets, Cheesy Love Confessions, A Strip Tease Or Two, Mentions Of Mara.**

**Disclaimer:** Don’t own P5.

.

**PancakePrince:** I heard about the probation.  
**PancakePrince:** and I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE  
**PancakePrince:** I didn't raise an ingrate who would get CAUGHT assaulting a politician!

**DayumThoseLegs:** one  
**DayumThoseLegs:** I didn't assault him. I pushed him off the woman HE was assaulting and he was so drunk he fell over by himself  
**DayumThoseLegs:** and two  
**DayumThoseLegs:** I can't believe you're on about how I GOT CAUGHT  
**DayumThoseLegs:** and not about the ASSAULT  
**DayumThoseLegs:** and three  
**DayumThoseLegs:** you didn’t raise me

**PancakePrince:** whatever makes you sleep at night.

**DayumThoseLegs:** definitely not your lovely visage then ;3

**PancakePrince:** I hate you.

**DayumThoseLegs:** I love you too honey

**PancakePrince:** one day you’re going to die.  
**PancakePrince:** it’s going to be slow and brutal.  
**PancakePrince:** and by my hand.

**DayumThoseLegs:** kinky

.

**PancakePrince:** so, how was your first day at your new school?

**DayumThoseLegs:** terrible

**PancakePrince:** oh?  
**PancakePrince:** were your legs ogled all day long by virtual strangers, then?

**DayumThoseLegs:** I WISH it was that simple  
**DayumThoseLegs:** for one thing  
**DayumThoseLegs:** I’m laying low so I don’t get to wear the girl’s uniform  
**DayumThoseLegs:** for another  
**DayumThoseLegs:** it seems that my record was leaked  
**DayumThoseLegs:** so now everyone at school is now gossiping about me  
**DayumThoseLegs:** didn’t you know?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** I apparently can kill with just a look

**PancakePrince:** can confirm.  
**PancakePrince:** remember Sanada from middle school?  
**PancakePrince:** you terrified the shit out of him with your glare.  
**PancakePrince:** he was never seen with you in the same room ever again.  
**PancakePrince:** and that was when you were a fluff ball at fourteen.  
**PancakePrince:** can you imagine how it is now two years later?

**DayumThoseLegs:** excuse you  
**DayumThoseLegs:** Sanada was an asshole  
**DayumThoseLegs:** he totally deserved it  
**DayumThoseLegs:** he should be glad I didn’t do worse

**PancakePrince:** he wasn’t worth it.  
**PancakePrince:** anyway.  
**PancakePrince:** continue about your day.

**DayumThoseLegs:** okay so  
**DayumThoseLegs:** I may or may not have accidentally travelled into the Metaverse  
**DayumThoseLegs:** while accidentally taking someone from Shujin with me

**PancakePrince:** WHAT  
**PancakePrince:** AMAMIYA-KURUSU AKIRA

**DayumThoseLegs:** oops  
**DayumThoseLegs:** sorry gotta go  
**DayumThoseLegs:** talk later

**PancakePrince:** DON’T YOU DARE

.

_DayumThoseLegs sent lookatmynewroommate. jpg_

**DayumThoseLegs:** isn’t he cute?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** goro?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** hey goro?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** honey?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** sweetheart?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** honeybun?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** sugarplum?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** sweetcheeks?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** maple syrup?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** PANCAKES

**PancakePrince:** what do you want?

**DayumThoseLegs:** well screw you!  
**DayumThoseLegs:** you only listen to the pancakes?!  
**DayumThoseLegs:** what am I?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** chopped liver?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** crushed human paste stuck to the floor?

**PancakePrinc** e: soon you will be.

**DayumThoseLegs:** excuse you?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** you’re still pissed off about that?

**PancakePrince:** of COURSE I’m still  
**PancakePrince:** ‘pissed off’ about it!  
**PancakePrince:** the Metaverse isn’t somewhere you can drag anyone into!

**DayumThoseLegs:** you think I WANTED to do it?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** I didn’t even notice I was transported to the Metaverse until I was in front of the school  
**DayumThoseLegs:** and it WASN’T school

**PancakePrince:** ah shit.  
**PancakePrince:** a Palace?

**DayumThoseLegs:** YES

**PancakePrince:** whose? Do you know?

**DayumThoseLegs:** the asshole PE teacher and volleyball team coach  
**DayumThoseLegs:** he’s abusing his team and no one is saying anything about it  
**DayumThoseLegs:** not even the victims themselves  
**DayumThoseLegs:** he’s also probably harassing female students too

**PancakePrince:** well fuck

**DayumThoseLegs:** well fuck, indeed

**PancakePrince:** what are you going to do about it?  
**PancakePrince:** because I have a feeling that you’re planning something

**DayumThoseLegs:** well…  
**DayumThoseLegs:** see my cute, adorable new roommate in the pic?

**PancakePrince:** your long-lost sibling?

**DayumThoseLegs:** FOR THE LAST TIME.  
**DayumThoseLegs:** I! AM! NOT! A! CAT!

**PancakePrince:** DENY IT ALL YOU WANT I HAVE PICTURE EVIDENCE

**DayumThoseLegs:** MOVING ON  
**DayumThoseLegs:** my new roommate  
**DayumThoseLegs:** his name is Morgana by the way  
**DayumThoseLegs:** has a way to deal with the asshole teacher

**PancakePrince:** oh?

**DayumThoseLegs:** so, the Palace rulers?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** they have a ‘Treasure’  
**DayumThoseLegs:** which is the root of their ‘distorted desires’  
**DayumThoseLegs:** which are the cause behind the Palace forming  
**DayumThoseLegs:** and taking it will cause the Palace to disappear  
**DayumThoseLegs:** along with the ‘distortion’  
**DayumThoseLegs:** which will cause the ruler of the Palace to see how things truly are  
**DayumThoseLegs:** and so repent  
**DayumThoseLegs:** it’s… a bit risky, though  
**DayumThoseLegs:** as the person whose Treasure would be stolen stands the chance of shutting down and dying

**PancakePrince:** I don’t like the sound of that.  
**PancakePrince:** it sounds like brainwashing.  
**PancakePrince:** with the risk of causing a mental shutdown.

**DayumThoseLegs:** it’s the only way I have to deal with this guy at the moment.

**PancakePrince:** WHY do you have to deal with him anyway?  
**PancakePrince:** don’t tell me…  
**PancakePrince:** you’ve grown attached, haven’t you?

**DayumThoseLegs:** HOWEVER DID YOU GUESS

**PancakePrince:** but still…  
**PancakePrince:** what you told me just gave me an idea.  
**PancakePrince:** about the mental shutdown cases.

**DayumThoseLegs:** you think someone is causing them via the Metaverse?

**PancakePrince:** it seems so.  
**PancakePrince:** someone stealing Treasures, possibly.  
**PancakePrince:** or maybe it’s something to do with a person’s Shadow self too.  
**PancakePrince:** remember the rampaging incident?

**DayumThoseLegs:** how can I forget?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** wait a moment  
**DayumThoseLegs:** let me ask Morgana  
**DayumThoseLegs:** yep  
**DayumThoseLegs:** it looks like you should also be looking into someone KILLING Shadow selves

**PancakePrince:** that cat is quite helpful.  
**PancakePrince:** how does it even give you information?

**DayumThoseLegs:** he talks

**PancakePrince:** he TALKS?  
**PancakePrince:** you keep a TALKING CAT with you in your room?

**DayumThoseLegs:** only those who’ve been in the Metaverse can hear what he says though  
**DayumThoseLegs:** the rest just hear meowing

**PancakePrince:** that’s convenient.

**DayumThoseLegs:** I told him about you

**PancakePrince:** what do you mean?

**DayumThoseLegs:** I mean  
**DayumThoseLegs:** I told him about ‘I’ve been going to the Metaverse for more than two years now’  
**DayumThoseLegs:** and about ‘I have a friend who goes with me too but he’s too busy now’

**PancakePrince:** why?

**DayumThoseLegs:** I’ve been with him through the Palace twice

**PancakePrince:** and he noticed your experience?  
**PancakePrince:** and you valued his help.  
**PancakePrince:** or at least, not having him be an enemy.  
**PancakePrince:** I see.  
**PancakePrince:** That makes sense.

.

**DayumThoseLegs:** I’m going through with it.

**PancakePrince:** what?  
**PancakePrince:** the thing about the Treasure, you mean?  
**PancakePrince:** but isn’t that too risky?  
**PancakePrince:** Akira?  
**PancakePrince:** I know you’re reading these messages.  
**PancakePrince:** AKIRA YOU’RE SUCH A CAT.  
**PancakePrince:** I see.  
**PancakePrince:** so it’s that serious, huh?  
**PancakePrince:** you better talk to me about this later.

**DayumThoseLegs:** I will.

.

**DayumThoseLegs:** man, I’m beat

**PancakePrince:** you took the Treasure?

**DayumThoseLegs:** yep  
**DayumThoseLegs:** we still don’t know how it went with the asshole  
**DayumThoseLegs:** he’s not showing up to school

**PancakePrince:** how did it go?

**DayumThoseLegs:** after we infiltrated the Palace and found where the Treasure was  
**DayumThoseLegs:** we had to return and send a calling card

**PancakePrince:** WHY?

**DayumThoseLegs:** according to Morgana  
**DayumThoseLegs:** it’s a necessary step to make the ruler aware that they’re hearts are something that could be stolen  
**DayumThoseLegs:** the effect lasts for only a day though  
**DayumThoseLegs:** and it’s a onetime deal, so we don’t get retries

**PancakePrince:** you’re calling it heart now?

**DayumThoseLegs:** shrug

**PancakePrince:** alright, fine, never mind that. What was the Treasure?

**DayumThoseLegs:** in the Metaverse it was a crown  
**DayumThoseLegs:** outside the Metaverse it took the form of a medal  
**DayumThoseLegs:** a fake medal. It looks like one of the medals the asshole owns

**PancakePrince:** well… when will the change happen?

**DayumThoseLegs:** dunno  
**DayumThoseLegs:** but I certainly hope it happens before the asshole makes true on his word and expels me

**PancakePrince:** WHAT  
**PancakePrince:** YOU’VE BARELY BEEN THERE A MONTH  
**PancakePrince:** AND YOU ALREADY GOT YOURSELF IN ENOUGH TROUBLE TO BE THREATENED WITH EXPULSION?

**DayumThoseLegs:** oops gotta go

**PancakePrince:** AKIRA!

.

**PancakePrince:** so today I found a box containing pancakes on my doorstep  
**PancakePrince:** it was most definitely not sent by mail.  
**PancakePrince:** should I assume that the change of heart was a success then?  
**PancakePrince:** and there would be no expulsion?

**DayumThoseLegs:** YOU ASSUME CORRECT

**PancakePrince:** that’s good to hear.  
**PancakePrince:** besides  
**PancakePrince:** that means that you weren’t killed.  
**PancakePrince:** or worse.  
**PancakePrince:** EXPELLED.

**DayumThoseLegs:** SKDHASGJSJASDGJASD  
**DayumThoseLegs:** AKECHI FUCKING GORO  
**DayumThoseLegs:** DID I JUST READ WHAT I JUST READ WITH MY OWN TWO EYES?

**PancakePrince:** I don’t know what you’re talking about.

**DayumThoseLegs:** oh come ON

**PancakePrince:** how are your kids?

_DayumThoseLegs sent MYCHILDREN. jpg_

**DayumThoseLegs:** MY KIDS  
**DayumThoseLegs:** ARE FINE  
**DayumThoseLegs:** CINNAMON ROLLS TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD TOO PURE  
**DayumThoseLegs:** IM A PROUD PAPA  
**DayumThoseLegs:** A PROUD PHANTOM THIEF PAPA

**PancakePrince:** excuse you did you just…  
**PancakePrince:** say PHANTOM THIEF?  
**PancakePrince:** OH MY GOD IS THIS WHAT I THINK IT IS?

**DayumThoseLegs:** my lovely fam consisting of myself and my three kids are now a group of phantom thieves~

**PancakePrince:** I KNEW THAT MAGIC KAITO ADDICTION WAS GOING TO BE BAD INFLUENCE

**DayumThoseLegs:** but detective~  
**DayumThoseLegs:** you’re not interested in some phantom thief/detective action?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** ;3  
**DayumThoseLegs:** FOREPLAY

**PancakePrince:** NO

**DayumThoseLegs:** YES

**PancakePrince:** GODDAMMIT AKIRA I SAID NO  
**PancakePrince:** THERE WILL BE NO PHANTOM THIEF/DETECTIVE FOREPLAY

**DayumThoseLegs:** but darling  
**DayumThoseLegs:** this phantom thief fam is your fam  
**DayumThoseLegs:** and their papa is your bf  
**DayumThoseLegs:** come to where I live  
**DayumThoseLegs:** let me seduce you with my coffee

.

**DayumThoseLegs:** have you ever seen a guy so beautiful you cried?

**PancakePrince:** I have a mirror.

**DayumThoseLegs:** …  
**DayumThoseLegs:** I’m SPEECHLESS  
**DayumThoseLegs:** okay  
**DayumThoseLegs:** you’re right but that’s not what I’m talking about here

**PancakePrince:** it’s not?  
**PancakePrince:** have you finally grown bored of me?  
**PancakePrince:** are you tossing me to the side  
**PancakePrince:** to enjoy the company of a beautiful young thing?

**DayumThoseLegs** : honey  
**DayumThoseLegs:** you’ll always be number one in my heart  
**DayumThoseLegs:** I love you  
**DayumThoseLegs:** I’ll never throw you away  
**DayumThoseLegs:** I’ll be sticking so close to you it will make YOU want to get rid of me

**PancakePrince:** …  
**PancakePrince:** I love you too  
**PancakePrince:** no promises on never wanting to get rid of you  
**PancakePrince:** …  
**PancakePrince:** …I miss you…

**DayumThoseLegs:** I miss you too  
**DayumThoseLegs:** which reminds me  
**DayumThoseLegs:** we’re overdue for a date  
**DayumThoseLegs:** it’s been ages since we talked face to face  
**DayumThoseLegs:** where would you like to go and when?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** it’s your call

**PancakePrince:** well…

.

_DayumThoseLegs sent LOOKATHIM. jpg_

**DayumThoseLegs:** lookit my new kid

**PancakePrince:** I leave you alone for LESS THAN A WEEK  
**PancakePrince:** I… am not even surprised anymore.

**DayumThoseLegs:** GASP  
**DayumThoseLegs:** NOT SURPRISED?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** HAVE I PERCHANCE LOST MY TOUCH?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** CURSES!

**PancakePrince:** ‘losing your touch’?

**DayumThoseLegs:** guess the news about having a new member join  
**DayumThoseLegs:** having a new target  
**DayumThoseLegs:** being threatened with legal action  
**DayumThoseLegs:** (we may or may not be sued at the start of next month)  
**DayumThoseLegs:** and being stalked by Niijima Makoto  
**DayumThoseLegs:** won’t shock you huh?

**PancakePrince:** WHAT  
**PancakePrince:** AKIRA WHAT DID YOU DO  
**PancakePrince:** OF COURSE I’LL BE SHOCKED!  
**PancakePrince:** SOMEONE THREATENED YOU WITH LEGAL ACTION?  
**PancakePrince:** YOU MAY BE SUED?  
**PancakePrince:** I LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR A LITTLE BIT AND EVERYTHING GOES TO SHIT  
**PancakePrince:** AMAMIYA-KURUSU AKIRA

**DayumThoseLegs:** …  
**DayumThoseLegs:** woah

**PancakePrince:** why is Niijima Makoto stalking you?

**DayumThoseLegs:** she may or may not be suspecting us

**PancakePrince:** do I need to mobilize?  
**PancakePrince:** drive some Shujin kids into berserk rage to distract her?  
**PancakePrince:** drive HER into berserk rage to distract her?  
**PancakePrince:** also.  
**PancakePrince:** WHO is threatening you with legal action? I need a NAME.

**DayumThoseLegs:** WOAH  
**DayumThoseLegs:** Goro slow down  
**DayumThoseLegs:** holy fuck what I wouldn’t give to have you in front of me so that I can kiss you senseless  
**DayumThoseLegs:** but I’ll have to deal with just blowing you-

**PancakePrince:** AKIRA

**DayumThoseLegs:** -kisses across the chat ;3  
**DayumThoseLegs:** my, what did you think I was going to do, detective?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** were you thinking Naughty Thoughts? ;3  
**DayumThoseLegs:** do you want me to send you nudes?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** just say the word~

**PancakePrince:** NO

**DayumThoseLegs:** I can FEEL your blush

_DayumThoseLegs sent youmissthoselegsdontyou. jpg_

**PancakePrince:** SJKDHAKJSDHKAJSHDASGHDAJS

.

**DayumThoseLegs:** I don’t get how the public thinks you’re some pure prince.  
**DayumThoseLegs:** I would have never thought you’d be bold enough to whisk me into a corner in a TV STATION  
**DayumThoseLegs:** to have your wicked way with me D:

**PancakePrince:** I have no idea what you’re talking about.  
**PancakePrince:** are you trying to besmirch my good name?  
**PancakePrince:** I’ll have you know I’m a perfect gentleman!

**DayumThoseLegs:** tell that to my sore neck littered with hickies

**PancakePrince:** you should cover those up then.  
**PancakePrince:** don’t want people staring ^^

**DayumThoseLegs:** it’s already too late  
**DayumThoseLegs:** my kids saw them  
**DayumThoseLegs:** you better sleep with an eye open from now on

**PancakePrince:** oh? How bold… wicked thieves plotting to break and enter into a humble detective’s home to torment him…

**DayumThoseLegs:** HUMBLE  
**DayumThoseLegs:** sheesh  
**DayumThoseLegs:** they all heard what you said about the phantom thieves…  
**DayumThoseLegs:** did you have to do that? T^T

**PancakePrince:** who ate the last pancake again?

**DayumThoseLegs:** okay FINE!

**PancakePrince:** you mentioned once seducing me with your coffee?  
**PancakePrince:** I think I’ll take you up on that offer.

**DayumThoseLegs:** holy fuck  
**DayumThoseLegs:** Akechi Goro you devious asshole  
**DayumThoseLegs:** are you manipulating your way to coffee on my expense?

**PancakePrince:** AM I?

.

**DayumThoseLegs:** hey hon  
**DayumThoseLegs:** can I seduce my way into your work cabinet?

**PancakePrince:** no.

**DayumThoseLegs:** but HONEY

**PancakePrince:** WHY do you want to seduce your way into my work?  
**PancakePrince:** WHY do you HAVE to ASK ME ABOUT IT?  
**PancakePrince:** you and I both know you’d seduce your way in either way, so why ask?  
**PancakePrince:** don’t tell me…  
**PancakePrince:** it’s PT business, isn’t it?

**DayumThoseLegs:** I seem to be an appealing blackmail target

**PancakePrince:** you got blackmailed?! By who?

**DayumThoseLegs:** by none other than our dear student council president

**PancakePrince:** NIIJIMA MAKOTO BLACKMAILED YOU?  
**PancakePrince:** HOW did that happen?  
**PancakePrince:** (oh where are you Sae?)

**DayumThoseLegs:** now  
**DayumThoseLegs:** takes off shirt  
**DayumThoseLegs:** how many more articles of clothing do I have to take off before you tell me who the guy controlling shibuya and blackmailing high school students is?

**PancakePrince** : I don’t know.  
**PancakePrince:** I don’t think I should get you involved…

**DayumThoseLegs:** unbuttons pants

_DayumThoseLegs sent imreadywillingandable. jpg_

**DayumThoseLegs:** next the zipper goes down

**PancakePrince:** …  
**PancakePrince:** I think…  
**PancakePrince:** I think I can be persuaded.  
**PancakePrince:** go on.

**DayumThoseLegs:** my  
**DayumThoseLegs:** aren’t we hot and bothered today  
**DayumThoseLegs:** unzips pants

_DayumThoseLegs sent icancontinueuntilyoucrack. jpg_

.

**DayumThoseLegs:** remember when I told you that I seem to be an appealing blackmail target?

**PancakePrince:** and then you proceeded to give me a strip tease by way of pictures.  
**PancakePrince:** of course I remember.  
**PancakePrince:** don’t tell me that you got blackmailed again…

**DayumThoseLegs:** well…  
**DayumThoseLegs:** when you put it that way…  
**DayumThoseLegs:** then I don’t think I have news to tell you sorry hon

**PancakePrince:** W  
**PancakePrince:** H  
**PancakePrince:** O  
**PancakePrince:** G  
**PancakePrince:** I  
**PancakePrince:** V  
**PancakePrince:** E  
**PancakePrince:** M  
**PancakePrince:** E  
**PancakePrince:** A  
**PancakePrince:** N  
**PancakePrince:** A  
**PancakePrince:** M  
**PancakePrince:** E

**DayumThoseLegs:** you’re totally pissed off right now…  
**DayumThoseLegs:** is it even safe to tell you now?

**PancakePrince:** the power of Loki’s berserk spell courses through me  
**PancakePrince:** it’s. just. A. name. tell. M. E.

**DayumThoseLegs:** uhhh  
**DayumThoseLegs:** Kaneshiro

**PancakePrince:** ‘kay thanks

**DayumThoseLegs:** Goro?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** Goooorroooooo?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** honey?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** fuck.  
**DayumThoseLegs:** me.  
**DayumThoseLegs:** shit!  
**DayumThoseLegs:** Goro no don’t put murder on your record you have a whole life ahead of you D:

**PancakePrince:** :) 

.

**DayumThoseLegs:** one thing I’m absolutely glad for  
**DayumThoseLegs:** is that we were done with Kaneshiro quickly  
**DayumThoseLegs:** I don’t want to think what would have happened had we delayed…

**PancakePrince:** :(

**DayumThoseLegs:** don’t give me that face  
**DayumThoseLegs:** it was for your own good!  
**DayumThoseLegs:** can you imagine what would have happened to you if I let you go kill Kaneshiro?!  
**DayumThoseLegs:** I can’t let my bf ruin his life for just a lil’ tiny hitch I can take care of

**PancakePrince:** LIL’  
**PancakePrince:** TINY  
**PancakePrince:** HITCH?  
**PancakePrince:** BITCH WHERE?  
**PancakePrince:** YOU GOT YOURSELF BLACKMAILED BY A MAFIOSO!  
**PancakePrince:** WHO KNOWS WHAT THINGS HE WOULD HAVE DONE TO YOU!  
**PancakePrince:** what type of decent boyfriend would I be if I didn’t threaten to murder the ones who harm you?

**DayumThoseLegs:** one with SELF-PRESERVATION INSTINCTS

**PancakePrince:** AHAHAHAHAHAHA  
**PancakePrince:** SELF-PRESERVATION?  
**PancakePrince:** WHAT’S THAT?

**DayumThoseLegs:** sweetheart  
**DayumThoseLegs:** honeybun  
**DayumThoseLegs:** light of my life  
**DayumThoseLegs:** my heart and soul  
**DayumThoseLegs:** please  
**DayumThoseLegs:** please don’t

**PancakePrince:** …  
**PancakePrince:** alright…

**DayumThoseLegs:** I love you Goro you know that right?

**PancakePrince:** …  
**PancakePrince:** I DO  
**PancakePrince:** I KNOW that I swear  
**PancakePrince:** and…  
**PancakePrince:** I wonder…  
**PancakePrince:** you know that I love you too, right?

**DayumThoseLegs:** I… I do

_PancakePrince sent icantbelieveimdoingthis. jpg_

**PancakePrince:** alright. I’m indulging in some silliness don’t you dare not respond properly

_DayumThoseLegs sent youresopreciousyouknowthat. jpg_

**DayumThoseLegs:** to think I’d live to see the day you’d send me a picture of you doing half a heart with your hand  
**DayumThoseLegs:** for me to complete it  
**DayumThoseLegs:** there is hope for you yet :D

**PancakePrince:** noooooooo

.

**PancakePrince:** HOW do you do it?  
**PancakePrince:** HOW do you keep getting into such situations?!  
**PancakePrince:** you’re probably not responding to your phone because you’re out for the fireworks festival  
**PancakePrince:** but please in the name of all that is holy  
**PancakePrince:** and not holy  
**PancakePrince:** please pick up your phone and see my messages because god knows I won’t be able to call you right now  
**PancakePrince:** holy shit Akira the hacktivist group Medjed just issued a challenge to the Phantom Thieves  
**PancakePrince:** WHAT are you going to do?

**DayumThoseLegs:** bless you babe  
**DayumThoseLegs:** as to what I’m going to do  
**DayumThoseLegs:** well…  
**DayumThoseLegs:** I still need to figure that one out

**PancakePrince:** I wish I could reach through the screen and strangle you  
**PancakePrince:** except I don’t want my appearance to get disheveled  
**PancakePrince:** I have a TV interview in a few

**DayumThoseLegs:** have fun babe

**PancakePrince:** oh I’m definitely going to have fun  
**PancakePrince:** by roasting you on TV  
**PancakePrince:** I hope you like my interview ^^

.

**PancakePrince:** you went out for SUSHI and DIDN’T invite me along?  
**PancakePrince:** I have the worst boyfriend ever.  
**PancakePrince:** is this payback for the interview?

**DayumThoseLegs:** GEE I WONDER

**PancakePrince:** your levels of pettiness are astounding.

**DayumThoseLegs:** right back at you hon

**PancakePrince:** you know what else astounds me?  
**PancakePrince:** how NO ONE figured out that you’re the PT yet.  
**PancakePrince:** you could put up a sign  
**PancakePrince:** and it WON’T be flashier.

**DayumThoseLegs:** we are Phantom Thieves  
**DayumThoseLegs:** we’re MEANT to be flashy  
**DayumThoseLegs:** it’s all part of our style

**PancakePrince:** not when it’s going to get you ARRESTED!  
**PancakePrince:** moving on…  
**PancakePrince:** what do you plan to do about the Medjed situation?

**DayumThoseLegs:** we’ll figure something out.

**PancakePrince:** you won’t be able to change their hearts.  
**PancakePrince:** because you don’t know WHO is behind Medjed…

**DayumThoseLegs:** we WILL find a way  
**DayumThoseLegs:** don’t worry

.

**PancakePrince:** I have no idea how you manage these things.  
**PancakePrince:** I am ABSOLUTELY sure no one in your group can crack a phone’s password  
**PancakePrince:** let alone HACK MEDJED  
**PancakePrince:** wait.  
**PancakePrince:** don’t tell me…  
**PancakePrince:** you adopted someone new to the group?  
**PancakePrince:** someone who happens to be a hacker?  
**PancakePrince:** oh fuck  
**PancakePrince:** a hacker  
**PancakePrince:** just what you needed

**DayumThoseLegs:** be nice to my new kid  
**DayumThoseLegs:** hacked into my phone I’ll have you know  
**DayumThoseLegs:** probably reading our messages as we speak

**PancakePrince:** the PICTURES

**DayumThoseLegs:** yeah?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** I’ve been roasted and kinkshamed  
**DayumThoseLegs:** you’re next I’m sure

**PancakePrince:** Akira?

**DayumThoseLegs:** yeah babe?

**PancakePrince:** I just got messages from someone calling themself Aliababa  
**PancakePrince:** they’re kinkshaming me as we speak  
**PancakePrince:** that’s your hacker?

**DayumThoseLegs:** the younger sibling I’ve never thought I’d have :D

**PancakePrince:** why am I not surprised?

.

**PancakePrince:** one regret I have in life  
**PancakePrince:** is not going to Leblanc sooner.

**DayumThoseLegs:** you enjoyed hearing me be roasted didn’t you?

**PancakePrince:** I’m sorry sweetheart  
**PancakePrince:** I’m afraid we’ll have to break up  
**PancakePrince:** I don’t think I can love you anymore  
**PancakePrince:** Boss’ coffee stole my heart and soul

**DayumThoseLegs:** YOU WEAKLING  
**DayumThoseLegs:** YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE THE GUTS TO SUGGEST A POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIP  
**DayumThoseLegs:** AND WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING  
**DayumThoseLegs:** HOGGING BOSS’ COFFEE ALL TO YOURSELF?!  
**DayumThoseLegs:** I’m ready to throw down  
**DayumThoseLegs:** I’ll defeat you for the sake of the coffee

**PancakePrince:** oh?  
**PancakePrince:** meet me at the Path of Aiyatsbus. Bring Arsene.  
**PancakePrince:** we’re going to fight it out.

**DayumThoseLegs:** ehehehehe  
**DayumThoseLegs:** but hon  
**DayumThoseLegs:** you know you’re Weak to Curse ;3

**PancakePrince:** and you’re Weak to Bless, so we’re even :)  
**PancakePrince:** bring it on

.

_DayumThoseLegs sent aloha. jpg_

**DayumThoseLegs:** guess who’s back from Hawaii?

**PancakePrince:** my pancakes?

**DayumThoseLegs:** yes your pancakes  
**DayumThoseLegs:** WRONG  
**DayumThoseLegs:** ITS YOUR SEXY HOT BF  
**DayumThoseLegs:** who else could it be?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** I’d ask if you hooked up with Sae while I was in Hawaii  
**DayumThoseLegs:** but you’re too gay for that  
**DayumThoseLegs:** and she’s too gay for that  
**DayumThoseLegs:** and Futaba sent me updates about you  
**DayumThoseLegs:** sexting? Naughty, naughty :3

**PancakePrince:** you should know  
**PancakePrince:** your ear is the one I’ve whispered pure filth into

_DayumThoseLegs sent yourealreadygettingmehotandbotheredagain. jpg_

**PancakePrince:** while you look absolutely delicious  
**PancakePrince:** neither of us has the time for me to spread you open over Leblanc’s counter

**DayumThoseLegs:** akjsdhkaajksdhasd

**PancakePrince:** besides, I don’t think Boss would approve.

**DayumThoseLegs:** AKJSDHAKSDGASD THAT’S WHATS STOPPING YOU?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** FUCKING HELL GORO  
**DayumThoseLegs:** FUCK. ME. MY BF IS A SINNAMON ROLL TOO HOT FOR THIS WORLD TOO FILTHY

**PancakePrince:** I’D DO IT BUT WE DON’T HAVE TIME  
**PancakePrince:** anyway.  
**PancakePrince:** what are you going to do about Okumura?  
**PancakePrince:** the masses are clamoring to have his heart changed  
**PancakePrince:** what will your response be?

**DayumThoseLegs:** HOW do you even bounce through moods like that?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** to answer your question  
**DayumThoseLegs:** we’re going to do it

**PancakePrince:** seriously?!  
**PancakePrince:** you’re going to be doing the public’s whims now?!  
**PancakePrince:** oh for fuck’s sake  
**PancakePrince:** don’t tell me the fame got to you  
**PancakePrince:** I swear I’ll sneak into your room in the middle of the night  
**PancakePrince:** with a KNIFE  
**PancakePrince:** and murder you

**DayumThoseLegs:** we have a REASON  
**DayumThoseLegs:** Okumura? He’s planning to sell his daughter off for a politician’s son to curry favor  
**DayumThoseLegs:** we’re doing it for her

**PancakePrince:** …  
**PancakePrince:** well…  
**PancakePrince:** I apologize for doubting you like that.  
**PancakePrince:** I… know you better than that and I shouldn’t have doubted you so, I’m sorry.

**DayumThoseLegs:** It’s okay  
**DayumThoseLegs:** it… was a bit of a difficult situation for us  
**DayumThoseLegs:** we almost fought about it  
**DayumThoseLegs:** initially, we weren’t going to do it  
**DayumThoseLegs:** but then we met Haru, Okumura’s daughter, while she was out with her ‘fiancé’  
**DayumThoseLegs:** the situation escalated  
**DayumThoseLegs:** and the next thing we heard was her father was planning to just give her away to the ‘fiancé’  
**DayumThoseLegs:** and that’s why we decided to go through with it eventually

**PancakePrince:** …  
**PancakePrince:** you’ll take care, alright?

**DayumThoseLegs:** yes  
**DayumThoseLegs:** talk to you later, I love you

**PancakePrince:** I love you, too.

.

**DayumThoseLegs:** I can’t believe you  
**DayumThoseLegs:** I go back to Leblanc, find you there, and say  
**DayumThoseLegs:** ‘honey I’m home’  
**DayumThoseLegs:** but you don’t respond with  
**DayumThoseLegs:** ‘what would you like? Food, a shower, or me?’  
**DayumThoseLegs:** ?????  
**DayumThoseLegs:** HONESTLY

**PancakePrince:** I know you  
**PancakePrince:** and I know you’d say ‘how about I feast upon you in the shower?’ in response  
**PancakePrince:** Boss was standing right THERE

**DayumThoseLegs:** I can’t believe dad is cockblocking me  
**DayumThoseLegs:** wait, I actually can

**PancakePrince:** so…  
**PancakePrince:** do you want to talk about what happened with Okumura?

**DayumThoseLegs:** okay so  
**DayumThoseLegs:** I KNOW there is a chance a mental shutdown could happen instead of a change of heart  
**DayumThoseLegs:** but I must admit what happened with Okumura was unexpected  
**DayumThoseLegs:** we did everything like we usually do  
**DayumThoseLegs:** I’m… still trying to figure what could have been different with Okumura to cause the shutdown…

**PancakePrince:** there is something I’ve been thinking about.  
**PancakePrince:** and I talked with your hacker about it.  
**PancakePrince:** could it be possible that the shutdown was planned  
**PancakePrince:** and your team was lured in to target Okumura  
**PancakePrince:** so that you would be framed for the mental shutdowns?

**DayumThoseLegs:** it’s highly possible  
**DayumThoseLegs:** I’ll need to hold a meeting soon  
**DayumThoseLegs:** this is a topic I can’t leave unaddressed

**PancakePrince:** I’ll keep looking for more clues on my end.

**DayumThoseLegs:** take care, okay?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** with Black Mask on the loose, and your Loki mask, I don’t want you to be mixed up with them…

**PancakePrince:** I will.  
**PancakePrince:** (Even though my Loki mask is technically closer to a very dark red rather than black…)  
**PancakePrince:** I’ll use my Robin Hood mask.  
**PancakePrince:** There is no way I would be mistaken with Black Mask then.

**DayumThoseLegs:** are you sure you don’t want me to join you on your information gathering trips?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** I can bring Morgana along  
**DayumThoseLegs:** he knows about you and would be a great help in covering larger distances  
**DayumThoseLegs:** it would also help your case in case you ever decided to join the team

**PancakePrince:** I find it highly unlikely that I’ll end up joining your band of merry thieves  
**PancakePrince:** for more than one reason  
**PancakePrince:** but alright  
**PancakePrince:** I guess I can’t refuse the offer of a ride

.

**DayumThoseLegs:** you know  
**DayumThoseLegs:** your cognitive version in Sae’s Palace is… very interesting  
**DayumThoseLegs:** meeting him gave rise to even MORE interesting questions  
**DayumThoseLegs:** about how Sae perceives our relationship

**PancakePrince:** okay so ONE  
**PancakePrince:** WHAT is THAT supposed to mean?  
**PancakePrince:** TWO  
**PancakePrince:** WHY are you inside Sae’s Palace?  
**PancakePrince:** and THREE  
**PancakePrince:** SAE HAS A PALACE?

**DayumThoseLegs:** yes she does  
**DayumThoseLegs:** it’s a casino

**PancakePrince:** A CASINO

**DayumThoseLegs:** we’re there because we have been blackmailed AGAIN

**PancakePrince:** HOW AND WHY DO YOU KEEP BEING BLACKMAILED?  
**PancakePrince:** WHO WAS IT THIS TIME?  
**PancakePrince:** WHO DO I NEED TO KILL?

**DayumThoseLegs:** chill

**PancakePrince:** I CAN’T /CHILL/

**DayumThoseLegs:** your cognitive version saw me, squeaked, tripped, and fell down a staircase  
**DayumThoseLegs:** he lived  
**DayumThoseLegs:** but he was blushing like mad

**PancakePrince:** WHAT WHY HOW  
**PancakePrince:** SAE WHY  
**PancakePrince:** WHY  
**PancakePrince:** IS THAT HOW SAE SEES ME?  
**PancakePrince:** A BLUSHING MESS THAT CAN’T FUNCTION WHILE YOU’RE AROUND?

**DayumThoseLegs:** it’s okay hon  
**DayumThoseLegs:** no harm done

**PancakePrince** : no harm done?  
**PancakePrince:** NO HARM DONE?!  
**PancakePrince:** I can’t let this slide!

**DayumThoseLegs:** well, it’s not like you can change it

**PancakePrince:** :)  
**PancakePrince:** :3  
**PancakePrince:** ;3

**DayumThoseLegs:** I have a feeling that I’m going to regret this conversation

.

**DayumThoseLegs:** you’re a horrible bf  
**DayumThoseLegs:** we had to postpone our infiltration of Sae’s Palace for another day for reasons you SHOULD KNOW  
**DayumThoseLegs:** my ass is sore  
**DayumThoseLegs:** zero regrets though  
**DayumThoseLegs:** had no idea you were into COMPLETELY PUBLIC SEX

**PancakePrince:** did it do its job though?

**DayumThoseLegs:** introducing Akechi Goro, the guy who was so bothered by how his colleague perceived him he resorted to having sex in front of her just to change her mind  
**DayumThoseLegs:** it depends on how you define ‘did its job’

**PancakePrince:** and that means?

**DayumThoseLegs:** that means we had to fight Sae’s cognition of you because he couldn’t KEEP IT IN HIS FUCKING PANTS  
**DayumThoseLegs:** he turned to Mara  
**DayumThoseLegs:** babe  
**DayumThoseLegs:** MARA  
**DayumThoseLegs:** /MARA/  
**DayumThoseLegs:** M  
**DayumThoseLegs:** A  
**DayumThoseLegs:** R  
**DayumThoseLegs:** A  
**DayumThoseLegs:** !

**PancakePrince:** kajsdasgdjasd  
**PancakePrince:** WHAT  
**PancakePrince:** WHY  
**PancakePrince:** WHY IS THIS MY LIFE

**DayumThoseLegs:** your plan backfired spectacularly  
**DayumThoseLegs:** probably the only person who benefitted was me  
**DayumThoseLegs:** I GOT LAID  
**DayumThoseLegs:** but you?  
**DayumThoseLegs:** you unfortunate soul  
**DayumThoseLegs:** Lack of Impulse Control, Thy Name is Akechi Goro

**PancakePrince:** …  
**PancakePrince:** I need to go  
**PancakePrince:** jump into the arms of the Reaper  
**PancakePrince:** I love you babe  
**PancakePrince:** take care of Boss’ coffee for me  
**PancakePrince:** I’ll haunt you, don’t worry ^^

.

**PancakePrince:** Akira?  
**PancakePrince:** Akira what is this I hear on the news about the leader of the Phantom Thieves of Hearts committing suicide while in custody?  
**PancakePrince:** babe  
**PancakePrince:** what is this I hear about the leader of the Phantom Thieves of Hearts being held in custody?  
**PancakePrince:** I was in the same building for fuck’s sake  
**PancakePrince:** Akira it’s been a day and I haven’t heard anything from you  
**PancakePrince:** respond for fuck’s sake  
**PancakePrince:** Akira?  
**PancakePrince:** Akira please?  
**PancakePrince:** kitten?  
**PancakePrince:** love? Are you reading this?  
**PancakePrince:** …  
**PancakePrince:** I see…  
**PancakePrince:** so it came to this  
**PancakePrince:** so you were caught  
**PancakePrince:** killed?  
**PancakePrince:** because you’d never kill yourself voluntarily like that  
**PancakePrince:** you didn’t EVEN SAY ANYTHING  
**PancakePrince:** I KNOW THIS PHONE IS MOST LIKELY HELD AS EVIDENCE  
**PancakePrince:** I KNOW THAT MEANS OUR CHAT LOGS HAVE BEEN READ  
**PancakePrince:** I KNOW IT MEANS THAT MY MESSAGES ARE BEING READ AT THE MOMENT  
**PancakePrince:** BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?  
**PancakePrince:** FUCK YOU AKIRA  
**PancakePrince:** FUCK YOU WITH A GUN  
**PancakePrince:** YOU DON’T  
**PancakePrince:** GET TO DO T  
**PancakePrince:** HIS I  
**PancakePrince:** DON’T CARE ANYMORE  
**PancakePrince:** LET THEM COME AT ME  
**PancakePrince:** LET THEM TRY  
**PancakePrince:** I DON’T CARE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT  
**PancakePrince:** YOU THINK I HAVENT BEEN DOING ANYTHING WHILE YOU WERE PLAYING THIEF?  
**PancakePrince:** GUESS AGAIN  
**PancakePrince:** I HAVE A LILST OF NAMES  
**PancakePrince:** AND BY THIS TIME NEXT WEEK NONE OF THEM WO  
**PancakePrince:** ULD BE DRAWING BREATH I  
**PancakePrince:** WILL MAKE SHI  
**PancakePrince:** DO REGRET  
**PancakePrince:** AKI RA PL EASE I

**DayumThoseLegs:** Excuse me. This is Makoto.

**PancakePrince:** NII jima?

**DayumThoseLegs:** Yes.  
**DayumThoseLegs:** Akira can’t respond right now because he’d been confined to bed rest.  
**DayumThoseLegs:** I’ll be handling his messages at the moment.

**PancakePrince:** he’s  
**PancakePrince:** alive

**DayumThoseLegs:** Yes.

**PancakePrince:** he’s  
**PancakePrince:** alright?

**DayumThoseLegs:** I… am not sure.  
**DayumThoseLegs:** He’s been… hurt pretty badly.  
**DayumThoseLegs:** Actually…  
**DayumThoseLegs:** That’s an understatement.  
**DayumThoseLegs:** He let himself get caught in a ploy to smoke out the traitor who infiltrated us.  
**DayumThoseLegs:** The interrogators weren’t merciful. He was beaten black and blue.  
**DayumThoseLegs:** And that’s what I could see on his face.  
**DayumThoseLegs:** He was limping too, and I think he has bruised ribs.  
**DayumThoseLegs:** He was drugged as well.  
**DayumThoseLegs:** I’m telling you this because both Boss and Futaba told me I could trust you with this information.  
**DayumThoseLegs:** Even Morgana agreed.

**PancakePrince:** …  
**PancakePrince:** Alright…  
**PancakePrince:** listen to me  
**PancakePrince:** I am coming to Leblanc right now  
**PancakePrince:** and we are going to plan for what’s going to happen next  
**PancakePrince:** there are details I need to speak to you all about in person

**DayumThoseLegs:** …alright…  
**DayumThoseLegs:** We’ll be waiting for you.

.

_Extra:_

**_PancakePrince:_ ** _I forgot to ask  
**PancakePrince:** how did you get into his phone?_

**_DayumThoseLegs:_ ** _um…  
**DayumThoseLegs:** Everyone knows Akira’s lockscreen password is ‘56fuckspancakes’  
**DayumThoseLegs:** Pardon the language…_

**_PancakePrince:_ ** _THAT FUCKER  
**PancakePrince:** SAY YOUR GOODBYES TO HIM RIGHT NOW  
**PancakePrince:** BECAUSE IM GOING TO KILL HIM FOR REAL THIS TIME_

.

End


End file.
